Happy Valentine’s Day!
Since it’s “love day” I thought I’d speak about it. Not love, but soulmates! The main thing my uncles and aunties want to talk to me about is marriage. Finding the “bone of my bones” and the “flesh of my flesh” as they say. Weirdly, I actually don’t have a problem with discussing the reality and truths of marriage, especially in our day and age because the concept of marriage has changed in our generation.
My uncle said, “I hope you find your soulmate, I hope you’re looking.”
I told him, “I’m not sure we have soulmates, I don’t think the Bible says that we have soulmates or guarantees that everyone gets one.”
Now…I could be wrong. Maybe there is one person that everyone eventually finds and falls in love with that makes life’s journey a pleasant joy. I would love to agree that everyone finds someone like that for themselves, but with 25 years experience I know that not everyone believes they’ve found someone like that…unfortunately.
I asked a friend if she believes she has a soulmate and she said “I do have a soulmate…somewhere… but he never came or something or maybe someone stopped him from meeting me. Or maybe I missed him, I think that sometimes…but I’m praying he’s still on his way. I’m hoping he’s on African time, because he’s late, very late.”
Again…I could be wrong. I’m just a man with an opinion. So let’s say there are soulmates in this world, right? If there are, then I have some questions. Do we get more than one soulmate? When do I meet her? What if my soulmate is too old or too young for me? What if my soulmate is already married to someone else before she meets me? Would my soulmate ever cheat on me? What about the people who never lived long enough to marry, did they not get a soulmate? My questions as endless as they would be would bring no assurance because no one has those answers and no one knows the future.
When I look at life today and look at the past, for me, life doesn’t tell me soulmate. Life tells me Grandpa had 3 wives (not kidding). Life reminds me Uncle *bleep*divorced his 2nd wife for his current girlfriend (very messy, I know). Oh, remember your Indian colleague? He went back to India for his arranged marriage, meeting his wife days before his wedding (my brothers and sisters please note, an arranged marriage is always an option). Life tells me there are men and women that may never marry or don’t want to get married. Life asks me, “Out of all the weddings you’ve been to (I’ve been to many… owambe tinz…oshaamo), how many of those married couples do you think are truly happy and believe they married their soulmate?
See…when it comes to anything soulmate related, I don’t think life has it out for me, you or us or anyone. I think life just wants us to hopefully, truly, and faithfully love someone if we want that. And to be honest, soulmate is too much of a burden to bear. The same person you’ll call soulmate, is the same person who will finish your jollof rice/suya/malta without asking, insult you one day for whatever reason, make you angry and will annoy the life out of you.
Now Godwilling WHEN I get married, I may say “soulmate, soulmate” up and down and take this all back. Kamannn I’m human, my mind may or may not change, on the whole matter. But for right now, in regards to future iyawo, “I won’t marry her because she’ll be my soulmate, she’ll be my soulmate because I married her.” You know, maybe we choose our soulmates…Have you thought about that? Lonely ones and love birds and people who don’t care. Enjoy your day.
P.S. Please if you believe you found your soulmate, don’t read this and second guess your love for that person please. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s love/marriage/relationship/situationship/adultery/affair or whatever. Don’t blame me o.